I miss waaayyy back when all Mason wanted to was curl up on top of me and sleep. I miss how fragile his tiny body felt and how I had to hold his head up to keep it from falling off. I even miss the four-hour long feedings and the exhaustion... how completely drained I'd feel when he woke up for the fifth time and it was only 2am. I used to watch the World Poker Tour when I was up all night, feeding and rocking him. I got really into it. I wonder how that Doyle guy is doing. I look at pictures of Mason as a tiny peanut and I cry. I wonder how long I'll remember the feeling I got when he smiled at me for the first time.
There are so many things happening now that I don't ever want to forget... and Mason's laugh is at the top of that list. He has this hilarious belly laugh - mouth wide open, eyes lit up - and I can't even begin to describe how it sounds. I remember the first time he really laughed. We were sitting on the couch and I laughed at him and he laughed back at me and it went on that way for a good ten minutes. Then there's the way he's been clinging to me lately, like a little monkey. When I hold him on my hip I don't have to support him anymore because he can hold himself up and he's grabbing onto my shirt or wrapping his arms around my neck. And the way his little feet kick a mile a minute when I bend down to pick him up.
It's impossible for me to take enough pictures or record enough video... but these great things he's doing now make me really glad I didn't stop time back at the cuddly baby stage. Back then, he needed me for food and warmth and comfort. He still does, but now he really loves me, too.
I know I don't actually want to stop time, keeping Mason in the same stage forever and ever, because I know there are plenty of new, exciting things to come. He proves this to me every day. Still, it's hard not to get a little nostalgic when I look at pictures of my sweet, four-day-old baby.
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