Whoa, Tiger!

The first animals we went to see at the zoo were the tigers. My favorite. I sat Mason up by the glass, hoping that a tiger would walk past and I could get a picture, when one came over.

I don't know if she thought Mason's hair was, like, an animal for dinner or what, but she started playing with Mase through the glass. I'm kicking myself for not recording it, it was seriously amazing. It would have been a guaranteed viral video on YouTube. 




I always felt like people were strangely drawn to Mase, but tigers? Amazing.

Birthday Surprise

I took Mason to Pittsburgh to the zoo on his birthday. The two of us had a blast. I haven't been there since I was really young and the zoo seemed smaller and some of the animals seemed a little sadder... but Mason loved it and we had a fantastic day together.




The elephants were his favorite. We watched these guys forever and had to go back to say goodbye to them before we left.











Almost a week later and he's still asking me every morning if we can go to the zoo.

Three

Mason,

I haven't blogged in two weeks but you're three today, so even though I have a million pictures and updates to catch up on, I have to momentarily skip all that to write a little letter for your birthday. At this exact time in 2008, I was probably in a ton pain and I know I was starving and scarfing down the first Big Mac I could get my hands on. You were so small and so fragile and I had no idea what to do with you. I'm sure you didn't really know what to do with me, either.

The amazing thing about being human is that you're constantly learning and growing and changing. I would imagine, say, a snail or an octopus or something can only really learn so much before they plateau and know everything they need to know to function in whatever life they set out to live. Not us, though. When I say "us", I mean you and I; I can't speak for the entire human race and I'm pretty sure some of them are happy with maintaining the same thought process as an octopus anyway, but I digress. You're curious. You want to learn and you want to know how everything works and why. You love reading and writing and watching bugs and mixing dirt and water to see what happens. We're a lot alike and we learn from each other.

Every day since we've met, I've learned something too. Most of the time I learn something about you - how smart you are, what makes you laugh, what makes you upset, how to brush your hair without a meltdown - but sometimes I learn something about me. I've learned that I can be really strong. Self-sufficient. Patient. I could go on and on, I'm sure, but the big thing for me is that I honestly had no idea what to do with you and now... I have no idea where I'd be without you. Maybe I'm really good at this. Or maybe it's just you. Maybe if you were any other kid I'd be crying in a corner somewhere without a clue about parenting. You make it easy and fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 1095 days have gone so much faster than I ever thought possible.

Happy birthday, baby. I love you.

Mommy

Too Busy

In a month, the school year will be over and I won't be subbing anymore. While I have no idea what I'm going to do about money for three months, I can't wait to have all that extra time to spend with Mason. I think Mommy Guilt is one of the worst emotions I've ever experienced and lately it's as though I'm feeling it constantly. Between substituting every day of the week, bartending a few nights a week plus weekends, trying to keep my house in some semblance of order, cooking, grocery shopping, etc., etc., etc., I feel so guilty about the lack of time I'm spending with Mason. It's awful and most days it consumes my thoughts. I used to wish he wouldn't climb up my legs while I stood at the stove - now, the way he occupies himself with his toys while I cook dinner crushes a little part of me.

I applied for a reading teacher position on Monday. I know there's going to be a hundred applicants and I know how slim the chances of me even getting an interview are, but I can't help daydreaming about being able to work 7-3 Monday-Friday and at least give up the bartender crap. Weekends off. Summers off. Not to mention teaching middle school reading is the most perfect job I can think of aside from being a full-time stay-at-home mom. I want that job (the teaching one) so bad it's crazy.

And just in case my life wasn't busy enough, I went ahead and applied to grad school. I figure if all else fails, and I can't find a job for next school year, I can at least live off student loans and not have to work so much.

I don't know, but I hope the next month goes fast. I don't even think I'll look for another job this summer. As long as I can make my car payment and feed my kid, I really don't care much about money. He's going to be three in fourteen days - he's growing up right in front of my face. Bills can wait. Mason can't.

First Self-Portrait

Yes, Mason drew this work of art. When I saw it I knew it was great, but I think everything that kid does is rainbows and butterflies... so I asked Megan - a certified art teacher, mind you - who says my child just might be an artistic genius. Check out the detail... and the shape of that head! I can't even draw such a circular circle!

Keep an Eye on Your Mailboxes!

Birthday Invitation Reject Pictures

As it turns out every year, I took many more blooper shots than I did good ones. A few especially amusing highlights:







Ohhhhh, Mason. :)