Resolutions... or Something Like Them

I don't think I've ever made New Year's Resolutions before. And actually, I'm not even going to call them resolutions, because then I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't follow through with them. So...

Gentle Suggestions for 2010:

1. Become a little more patient. There's nothing more frustrating than trying to negotiate a diaper change with my stubborn little toddler. Except maybe finding the entire dinner I just slaved over for twenty whole minutes tossed on the floor and Mase sitting in his highchair in a fit of giggles. Take deep breaths.

2. Worry less and try to focus on the big picture. Because if I don't stop freaking out now, I'll be gray before I'm thirty.

3. Put my ice cream in a bowl, rather than eating it right out of the container. I don't know why... it just seems like the right thing to do.

4. Try to stop hating my job. Spending five nights a week waiting on drunken frat boys isn't my ideal career, but it's all I've got to work with right now, and it pays the bills (almost, anyway). Next time I get a table of ten kids having a wing-eating competition I'll do my best to smile and not curse them out in my head on my millionth trip down the stairs to the kitchen.

5. Spend more time being me. There are dozens of unread books under my bed and I haven't scrapbooked since Mase was three months old. I can't remember the last time I went out to lunch with a friend alone and I spend little time doing anything but coloring and pretending to be a sheep/elephant/cow/dog. How did this happen??

6. Shave my legs once a week. Self-explanitory and very much needed.

7. Get out of pajamas on my days off. This includes showering, wearing jeans, and maybe (maybe) even putting on a little makeup. At the very least, I want to be presentable enough to not be completely embarrassed when the Fed-Ex man knocks on the door.

8. Get Mase involved and out of the house. I hate being cooped up in the winter, and as soon as I get my license back (hopefully by the end of January!) I want to sign Mase up for swimming lessons again, maybe do Kindermusik, and spend a bunch of time at the library.

9. Travel. Take Mason to at least three new states in 2010.

10. Stop beating myself up. I'm not a perfect mom and I probably never will be. I work 40 hours a week, most of the time 'til 1AM, and I'm in charge of keeping myself and another human alive twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I sleep a maximum of six hours a night, so if I pass out before the toys are picked up or the dinner dishes are done, I'd like to be able to cut myself some slack. If I get frustrated with Mase or feel like taking a nose-dive off the balcony, I don't want to be up all night feeling guilty. I'm human.