Tuesday, July 29, 2008

First traumatic event - check

Mason's two month checkup was today.. I've seriously been dreading it all week. All I could think about were those big needles they were going to stick into my precious baby's chubby thighs. I dreamt about it last night. I couldn't sleep. I was up more than Mason.

Every time I looked at him this morning, I was close to tears. He was so happy and I was about to ruin his day in a bad way. The little cut I put on his finger with the nail clippers was nothing compared to what was about to happen. All week I was saying, "I'm not going in the room with him, I can't watch that happen" but I went in anyway. No way was I letting him think that I'd abandon him like that... especially just because I'm the biggest baby ever. I felt like he had to know I was there for him. So I went in.

Mason loved the doctor. He was smiling at her while she weighed, measured, and poked at him. My chubby little guy is 23 1/2 inches long and weighs 16lbs 11oz! Huge. She said he held his head up like a four month old. If I wasn't so terrified of what was about to happen I would have been so proud of my little guy. But I knew. I felt bad for him because he liked her and he had no idea what she was about to do to him. He didn't know and it wasn't fair.

She explained the shots and I teared up. I calmed down, she left, the nurse came in and I teared up again. George held Mason's little hands down and I sat in the corner, staring at the wall. I couldn't watch. I heard nothing and then I heard the loudest most painful baby scream I've ever heard. When I picked him up, his little face looked so sad and so scared. He cried, but only for a minute. I cried too. It hurt... really bad.

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