Jobless and Happy

In the short time I've been here, I've found one thing Michigan isn't lacking: parks.

Mase is in heaven, and I've had an awesome week and a half of stay-at-home-momness. I MIGHT be freaking out on the inside due to lack of ANY money at all... but I've been ignoring it and finding fun, free activities all over the place. Yesterday though, I started my new job. It's just training, so I was only there for an hour and that will probably be the case for the next week or so. I can totally deal with an hour a day.

Our New Backyard

It turns out that Mason's having a much easier time adjusting to Detroit than I am. We've had a few nice days, too... plenty of time to check out the lake (and the ducks!) out back.

The fearlessness of this kid is terrifying. He walks right up to the edge of the water and dangles a piece of bread in front of vicious, hissing geese, all while screaming "duck!" in its face.

Miss You, Daddy

St. Patrick's Day at the Duck Park

On St. Patrick's Days past, I celebrated by drinking some Guiness and toasting the 1/4 of myself that contains Irish heritage. This St. Patrick's Day, I went to the duck park with Mase, Aimee, and Madelynn.

This St. Patrick's Day was way better.

Story Time

Mase is taking his first nap in weeks, and I just remembered I haven't gotten a chance to tell the story of My Worst Day Ever.

It happened last week. I went to Lock Haven to get a TB test so I can student teach in the fall. I loaded Mase in the car and drove the 40 minutes to Lock Haven University. The drive was fairly uneventful, and when we were just about there I smelled something... strange... coming from the back seat. I pulled into a gas station - I was almost on empty anyway.

I turn the car off, start pumping gas, and go back to check on Mason. Oh.my.gosh. There are my babies (Mason AND my brand new car), covered in vomit. Now, I've always considered myself extremely lucky that Mase was never a thrower-uper. He only spit up a handful of times in his infancy and I'm thankful every day because I don't do well with vomit. At all. So I grab Mason by his armpits, hold him straight out in front of me, and haul him into the gas station. The woman looks at me with a sympathetic eye and points to the bathroom. I strip him down to his diaper, rinse him off in the sink, dry him under the automatic hand drier and carry him back out to the car where I scrape the puke out of his seat and line it with a plastic bag.

I plop him down and strap him in. He's still naked and smelly but I'm not really worried about it because we just have to drive up the road and get this test - ten minutes, tops. I get in and try to blow in my breathalyzer (yes, the result of two DUIs. My car won't start until it's sure I'm sober). Nothing. The damn thing won't even turn on. I try at least twenty times until I'm out of breath and panicking... then I call Bruce the Breathalyzer Installer.

By then, I'm freaking out, gasping to Bruce about a naked, sick baby and a car stuck at a gas pump. He assures me over and over again that he'll be there to rescue me as soon as he can. I tell the gas station woman that I'll be back soon but I have to leave my car at the pump and, even though her sympathetic eye is now clearly annoyed, she says it's okay. I put my hoodie on Mason and the two of us start walking down the road, him swimming in my sweatshirt and me wearing a tanktop in 35 degree weather. We stop at a Burger King where everyone stares. I call my mom and try to explain what happened between tears and bites of my Double Whopper with Cheese. And old couple in the booth next to us hears what's going on and offers us a ride.

They take us to Walmart, where I dress Mason in the baby section and play with him in the toy aisles. I call Bruce numerous times to check on his status... each time he assures me he'll be on his way soon. Meanwhile, back at the gas station, Sympathetic Eye Woman is calling a tow truck.

To make a long story of boredom really short - SIX HOURS after I had stopped at the gas station, Bruce comes to save the day, only moments before the tow truck arrives. Five minutes after he gets there, my breathalyzer's fixed and I'm on my way. Worst day ever.

Oh, and Lock Haven couldn't do my TB test on account of me not currently being a student there.

Pre-Move Freak Out

It’s 7:30 AM and I’m supposed to leave for Michigan today. Freaking out doesn’t describe what’s happening right now. As I type this, Mason’s eating his breakfast as he normally does, and it’s sinking in that I’m about to overturn everything he’s ever known as “normal”. I sat in the middle of the floor of my empty apartment last night for hours, trying to come to terms with the gravity of what I’m doing and how my decisions are affecting the lives of so many people. I tried to figure out the difference between being selfish and doing what I think is best.

The truth is, I don’t even know what I think is best anymore.I’m terrified that, someday, Mason’s going to resent me for my decisions.

The responsibility of shaping this little child into a person and the realization of how many opportunities I’m going to have to screw him up makes me sick to my stomach. George is taking this a lot better than I am, surprisingly. I think it was easier to get myself into the mindset to leave when he was angry. Now that he’s telling me to relax and that this really is all for the best, I feel like a horrible person because of what a good person I know he is. The selfish part of me wants to make sure I never miss a moment of Mason’s life. The other part knows that realistically, George deserves that just as much as I do.

Out of Hybernation

Spoken Only to a Toddler

Sometimes, the strangest things come out of my mouth and I just have to stop and laugh at myself. Like just now, for example:

"Mason, we don't squirt toothpaste into our shoes, please."

Did I need to say that? Really?

Starving Artist

[Warning: this post is not for the weak-stomached.]

Yes, it's a Poop Post.

As I was changing Mason's diaper this afternoon, I noticed flecks of orange, green, yellow, and blue in his turds. My first thought, of course, was to angrily accuse George of feeding Mason M&Ms or something equally as artificially colored. I stopped though, mid-text, when I noticed Mason's art supplies scattered on the floor:

Morning Music

8:30 AM: Mason wakes up and I'm sitting in the living room. I put away the book I'm reading and am making my way to his room when I hear him on the monitor saying, "bowwww. bowwww. bowww-owwwww" in an extremely serious and monotone voice.

I peek in. He's using Piggy's leg as a microphone. The funny thing is, at the ripe old age of twenty-one months, Mason's song is better than most of the stuff on the radio.

Sometimes, mornings are amazing.

Mini Chef's Mini Pancakes

Mason uses his play kitchen all day long. He loves it; in his opinion, I don't think there's a cooler toy in the world.

Oh wait.. there is ONE thing cooler than a play kitchen. A real kitchen.

So this morning I let my baby make his own breakfast - which, it turns out, is actually a lot easier than me making his breakfast while he clings to my legs.

Now I Want One

I'm not ready for a pet right now. Logically, I know that. But yesterday, when I took Mason to the SPCA to see the cats and dogs, I fell in love. Not with a cat, but with my baby's happy face.

Sure, it's sad... all those poor animals in cages. But for one hour, those cats felt what it was like to be loved by a toddler. We're going back next week for sure.

Resolution Replay

It's March 1st. February, the worst month of the year, is over. Hopefully March will bring warmer weather and better moods for Mason and I. We've both been a little on edge lately. Anyway, since we're already two months into 2010, I figured I'd see how I'm doing on my resolutions.

1. Be more patient. Eh. I have my days. I'd say I'm definitely improving. I have a feeling this one will be a never-ending goal of mine. You can never really have too much patience. I'll give myself a yes on this one based on effort alone.

2. Stop worrying. Ugh. I'm ashamed to admit I'm worrying about who's going to sublet my apartment as I type this. I have gotten better with worrying about other areas of my life though. It's just this apartment thing (and the bills and the money that goes along with it) that's stressing me out. So I guess I'll say no to not worrying.

3. Eat ice cream from a bowl, not from the container. Heck no. I actually ate straight from the pint last night. And... finished the whole thing. But hey, it was no sugar added, gluten free, coconut milk ice cream. Does that make it better? I'd say so.

4. Stop hating my job. Nope. And I'll just leave it at that.

5. Be me. Well, I have been reading more. And I got myself re-enrolled in school (woot!) and I student teach in the fall so I've been spending time preparing for that. I've been pretty good about working out too. So I'll say yes to being me.

6. Shave my legs once a week. I've actually been really good about self-grooming lately. So yes.

7. Stop wearing pajamas all day. All I can say is sometimes... and that's generous.

8. Get Mase involved. Well I've only had my license and a car for two days, so I can't really answer this one yet. We're working on it. I do plan on going to Dr. Seuss Story Time at Barnes and Nobel on Thursday. So I'll give myself another half-yes.

9. Travel. My goal was three new states in 2010. I've already been to one. Another yes.

10. Stop being myself up. Unfortunately I still do. Daily. So... no. But I really wish I could say yes to this one.

That's four yeses, four nos, and two half-yeses. Not horrible for two months in.

Happy March!