Today is the day I've been dreading for years. Mason's first day of Kindergarten. He's been gone for exactly an hour and thirty-seven minutes. I don't think either of us slept last night. He was up, laying in bed with me, too excited to sleep, and I was up frantically trying to discover a way to stop the inevitable progression of time so that my baby would never have to grow up. While we were having breakfast, he told me that he was excited to learn and make new friends but that he was sad that he had to leave me. I cried buttering his toast, I cried making his lunch and cutting his peanut butter and jelly into dinosaur shapes, and I teared up taking his picture (twelve thousand times). He got on the bus, looking so tiny with his huge back pack, and I managed to hold myself together until the bus pulled away and I knew he couldn't see me. I've been crying ever since.
I am 99% sure that this was the most painful thing that I've ever had to do in my life. I know every kid goes to school and that it isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's an unwanted reminder that he's not going to be my little baby forever. And that just sucks.
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