Another Year

Mason,

It's January 1st, 2013.  It's hard to believe that another year has gone past and that this year, you will turn five years old.  Sometimes I find myself wondering where the time has gone but other times, I can remember every smile, every tear, every adventure-packed weekend, and every lazy don't-get-out-of-our-jammies day.  If I think about it, I can remember everything you've done to make me proud, every new thing you've learned that completely amazed me, and every time you've made me laugh.

I don't have any New Year's Resolutions this year.   Usually, I come up with a few, only to find that they're things I probably would have done anyway.  Resolutions seem so serious that I think they often set people up for failure before they've even tried.  If I say I want to lose 20 pounds in 2013 and I don't go to the gym on January 2nd, well, I messed that one up, guess I'll try again next year.  But really, every DAY is a new day.  And every day presents you with the opportunity to change your life and to better yourself.  Of course there are things that I would like to change about myself and my life.  I'd love to buy a house, move somewhere warmer, find a job I love going to every day, have enough money to send you to one of those awesome Montessori schools.  But those things (or other, just as good things) will come, in time, because it does always work out.  If there's one thing I learned - one thing you've taught me, really - it's that worrying is completely pointless.  Planning is great, but not to the point that you're going to feel like a failure if what you've planned doesn't happen as quickly as you want it to.

When you were younger, I used to worry a lot about the future.  I still do sometimes, even though I know it's not a particularly helpful or positive thing to do, but nowhere near as much as I did back then.  When you were a baby, I worried about you growing up.  I remember looking at you being so tiny and thinking that there was no way life would ever get better than it was when you were a month old, and a year old, and two years old.  But life has gotten better and I know it will keep getting better as time goes on.  I don't worry so much anymore about you growing up and having your innocent, loving little personality ruined by this crazy world because I'm confident that you're going to be an amazing person.  

So this year, I'm going to plan a great fifth birthday party for you, cry when I send you to school for the first time, and do all I can to make sure we both laugh every single day.  I don't know much for sure, but I do know I'll always do the best I can.